1st Lead U - Leadership Development

A conversation with Dr. Tyler Roger - EP 317

• John Ballinger • Season 3 • Episode 317

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Leadership is about recognizing when decisions need to be made and taking action, not necessarily being the smartest person in the room or having all the answers. Dr. Tyler Rogers, a therapist at Scout Counseling, shares insights on leadership development, mental health, and building self-confidence.

• America's current mental state can be described as "anxious"
• Our digital world makes us process distant events as if they were happening right next to us
• Modern families lack clear leadership structures compared to previous generations
• Children today have fewer responsibilities, resulting in decreased self-confidence
• Teaching children basic responsibilities builds confidence and competence
• Leaders must understand themselves before they can effectively lead others
• When facing poor leadership, identify specific problems and ask clarifying questions
• Improving mental health requires unplugging, setting boundaries, and connecting with real people
• Compartmentalizing helps leaders manage emotional responses throughout the day
• Self-confidence comes from understanding your capabilities and believing in yourself

Visit Scout Counseling at scoutcounseling.com to learn more about their services or to get help finding resources in your area.


Dr. Tyler Rogers:

The leader is not the smartest person in the room, you don't have to even have the best ideas. But the leader in the couple is the person who recognizes that a decision needs to be made, a direction needs to be taken, and calls attention to that and says we gotta do something here.

Announcer:

Welcome to First Lead you, a podcast dedicated to building leaders, expanding their capacity, improving their self-awareness through emotional intelligence and developing deeper understanding of selfless leadership.

John Ballinger:

Hello America and welcome to First Lead you where we believe selfless leadership is essential. America is suffering a leadership crisis. Self-awareness and emotional intelligence is the key to developing selfless leaders.

Announcer:

Now here is personal growth coach John Ballinger.

John Ballinger:

Hello leaders, welcome to First Lead U. My name is John Ballinger and I'm here with my trusted co-host, mr Douglas Ford.

Douglas Ford:

Good morning John. How are you today?

John Ballinger:

I'm well good morning john. How are you today?

Douglas Ford:

I'm well, sir, how are you?

John Ballinger:

I'm doing good man, at least it stopped raining a little bit a little bit 37 days with, with rain, then we had a day without it or maybe two?

Douglas Ford:

did we have two days, two days?

John Ballinger:

and then here it comes again, yeah, yeah. So I uh, I'm ready for some sunshine.

Douglas Ford:

Yes, everything's getting very saturated, it's very green, isn't it?

John Ballinger:

It is.

Douglas Ford:

Yeah.

John Ballinger:

You know that's one of the most uh, if you, if you research topics that are talked about in elevators, whether is the number one topic talked in elevators?

Douglas Ford:

Well, it's a common experience.

John Ballinger:

You can. You can quickly get into that with someone without having to be too uh, get too deep. Yeah, the awkward conversation of elevator topics. Weather, yeah, how's the weather? Well, you just came from outside, you know how the weather. How's the weather where?

Douglas Ford:

you are exactly. Yeah, make the elevator more interesting if you get in stand face everybody else. Oh yeah, that really would create an uncomfortable situation.

John Ballinger:

So well, glad to have the podcast on today and have a guest in studio.

Douglas Ford:

Yeah, today we're going to have Dr Tyler Rogers with us today and it's interesting, so Tyler and I go to church together. Dr Rogers, did I say Dr Rogers Either?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

one's fine. Okay, you're not my student.

Douglas Ford:

We'll go with Dr Rogers for the rest of the podcast, but we go to church together and we happen to sit at a table together at breakfast a couple weeks ago and we were chatting and I was like it'd be great to have you on the podcast. I think after we chatted for a bit, you're going to bring some unique perspectives to us as an audience and as thinking about leadership. So we appreciate you being here with us today, Dr Rogers.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, glad to be here. Thank you all for having me. I'll also add that weather is probably the number one topic that a therapist talks about from the waiting room to their office, because For the same reasons Fills the void of you can't really ask how you do in that hallway, exactly, exactly.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

But yeah, I'm a therapist here. Where we are in New York, Tennessee, I have a practice called Scout Counseling. There's a team of six of us who work together Listening to last week. We're a multi-generational. We got somebody from Boomer to Gen X, Daniel and Ben Z working in the office.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Our team is six, so pretty diverse spread there. I'll be using some of the things thoughts you guys shared as we go into our next retreat. But yeah, we're in practice. I used to teach counseling on a graduate level before I did practice before that and just decided after teaching for a while I want to go back into practice. I like that more than teaching. And then I also have a wife, a lovely wife, three boys at home and, uh, spend a lot of time driving them places Baseball swing right now.

Douglas Ford:

Oh yeah, baseball, the never ending sport, never ending sport. Yeah, that and soccer, those are the two things that seem to go on perpetually. Yeah, rain makes tournaments go longer.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

That's what I figured out this weekend Wow.

Douglas Ford:

And you coach are you coaching?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Uh, not the all-star. We're in all-stars now, so I'm just spectating Gotcha Coaching in my mind, biting my tongue off.

Douglas Ford:

Right, gotcha, gotcha. Well, we appreciate you being here today and, like I said, we think that you're going to bring a unique perspective to here on First Lead, jude, mostly about how do we lead ourselves better as people and as leaders of teams. And from your experience your kind of background, education, career experience how would you define a leader?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

I think, a leader, and so a little context to a lot of the work. I work a lot with couples and so a lot of times I'm looking at them saying one of the biggest issues is that there is no leader in the here, and a lot of times I'm framing that to them, as a leader is not the smartest person in the room and you don't have to even have the best ideas, um, but the leader in the couple is the person who recognizes that there's some, a decision needs to be made, a direction need to be taken, and calls attention to that and says we got to do something here. You know, whether it's our child's struggling in school, we've got to do something about this. Not to do what I want to do about this, but we've got to do something. Can't just let this be.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

And so many times I see just in marriages, where one of the biggest issues is there's just nobody taking leadership, nobody's saying, or a lot of times it's wives wanting their husbands to just say I got us, I'm going to make sure we don't crash, um, and not always know what to do. You always know, know how to do it, but I recognize when there are problems and I drive us to figuring out an answer. Not my answer, but an answer.

John Ballinger:

You got to do something. I'm going to go off. So now here we're going off script here when I ask this question.

Douglas Ford:

Yeah, second question in you're going to blow it up.

John Ballinger:

I'm going to blow it up, go right ahead. Where and why did you first notice that the men weren't making those decisions and they were very passive and apathetic in it.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Well, it comes across as their wives sometimes seem alarmist or just really upset about things, and a lot of times it's a self-confidence issue, the way that men are typically raised kind of shut out their emotions and just live life. They don't really believe in themselves, at least, so they just don't think they have a lot to say or a lot to offer. Um, or they go, find they escape to realms where they feel competent, uh, and confident, and being a husband is one where they go. I don't really know what that means to lead in the home, so I'm just not going to worry about that.

John Ballinger:

Does the church teach that, or should the church do a better job at teaching?

Douglas Ford:

I think they probably have some role in that. But my wife, michelle, and I were just talking about that the other day is like, like you know, so often you enter into a marriage and you don't really know how to be a husband. You don't really know how to be a husband. You don't really know how to be a wife. Maybe you're really good as a boyfriend or a girlfriend, right, perhaps, I mean hopefully so that's what led to the marriage. But there's a whole different level of responsibility that I mean, at least for me personally. Some of it transferred, like when we there was a, there was a degree of responsibility that I like, oh, now I'm, we're responsible for ourselves, but the responsibility of being a husband I don't think was something that I fully understood for a lot of reasons. But when I entered into it and so, and it's- more than choosing where to eat at.

John Ballinger:

Yeah, you know, because that's usually the hardest decision?

Douglas Ford:

Absolutely yeah, on a daily basis.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, absolutely, and that's you know what. We have tools in society. One of them we do a lot of premarital counseling, and that's what I help people try to understand is trying to help your relationship transform from what you understand it to be, which is dating, to being committed and married, and that's going to require a totally different set of skills. You know you, you've chosen the person you want.

John Ballinger:

Well, I think some of it, doc, is what I've realized with what. What you know, we talk about a lot of of people's actions or reactions, or from early childhood, absolutely, I really think that that person the man and the woman go in and they've looked at their mom and dad's marriage, yep, and that's kind of the frame of reference of I don't want that because of what went on, or I do want to try and achieve that. But then you have an intersection of two people that had two diverse backgrounds of what marriage or relationships look like, and on more than one of our podcasts I've I've been meeting with people and they'll say you know, I didn't know who they were until I got married yeah because they don't really start unpacking or they really don't start seeing the underlying issues that they brought to the table.

John Ballinger:

Yeah, you know. So then then that kind of bubbles to the surface which absolutely causes them to come to see you. Yeah, usually, hopefully, hopefully, yeah, um, yeah. One word you would use to describe the current mental state of America Anxious. That's a great word. That's a great yeah, yeah.

John Ballinger:

I was talking yesterday to somebody about their kids being bored and the guy I was talking to said it was actually a psychologist that I knew when I went to college when we were getting, and he said he said the kid came in on a hoverboard with an iPad. He said I'm thinking you're bored, I don't. I don't think people kids especially know how to be still.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, or to be bored, and that'd be okay. You know, that's where creativity comes as a child, in terms of hey, there's not anybody around, there's time to go create, go do something. I built some of the coolest forts and things in my childhood, came up with some great games out of board, like this.

John Ballinger:

This makes me think when you're talking about lincoln logs you remember, lincoln was an innovative lincoln logger man, I tell you we built some crazy things out of lincoln logs back then.

John Ballinger:

Yeah, you know lincoln logs and legos right yeah, legos yeah, yeah or there was one that you long sticks, that you put wheels on oh yeah, yeah, like the little, there's a little disc that holes in them. Yeah, yeah, that does too yeah yeah, anxious, anxious, that's a, that's a, that's a good word. I thought it was gonna stump you on that one, but I think you hit the nail on the head on that one, yeah so what would you say?

Douglas Ford:

why would that word immediately come to mind for you? What are you seeing that that causes you to use that word?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

well, I think that it goes away. Just, it's what we're seeing. Um, we live in a digital world. We see things, see clips and things, and and what a lot of people don't understand is our there's parts of our mind and our brain that cannot contextualize what you see. So you see a news clip of something that looks awful happening.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

The way your brain processes that is it processes it often as if it were happening right next to you, and then your body's going to have a response to that.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

It's like, oh, that looks bad and that could happen to me. And I need to have a response that's like, oh, that looks bad and that could happen to me and I need to do something about that, when in reality, 2,000 miles away from you, you weren't there. Even if you were in the same county, you may not even have chosen to be in that situation anyway, but there's part of our mind that cannot separate those things. But there's part of our mind that cannot separate those things. So we live in this online world where everything in our perceptual field, our brain still processes it as if it's happening to us or within proximity to us, but it's not. And if you look at, step back, if you were like, if I was completely offline for a month, didn't read a news story or anything like, how anxious would I actually be? Like what in my actual daily life would make me feel anxious? Probably not that much.

John Ballinger:

Yeah, I talk about compartmentalizing. I don't think we know how to do that well at all, that well at all. And you know, I love to teach people, especially leaders, how to compartmentalize as they're going through their day with their teams and their departments and learn to open and shut doors in their minds, as as if they're closets, and what's in that closet is to stay in that closet, because the next issue they're dealing with may not have anything to do with what they just left dealing with and they need to give full attention. So they have to compartmentalize it. Most leaders drag it through the day behind them and they're using every bit of the emotion from each one of those with the next decision, the next fire, the next, you know, whatever's going on inside the organization, because they don't learn how to compartmentalize. Yeah, absolutely.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, so learning to deal with yourself, learning to deal with your issues and why you feel anxious and what makes you anxious, is very important.

John Ballinger:

How does the early home environment, early childhood we mentioned this. It's something that I started kind of uncovering 20-plus years ago when asking a question what's your earliest childhood memory and how old were you? How do you think that impacts development?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Well, it's everything in terms of, again, parts of our mind that store information and how we perceive the world and what's going on. You're downloading so much. As a young person, your brain is a sponge. You're made to absorb and adapt constantly to what's going on around you and you may not have chosen you certainly don't choose what's going on around you but it's what's going on around you and your brain is going to absorb that, whether it's good or bad, healthy, unhealthy, helpful, not helpful is going to absorb that, whether it's good or bad, healthy, unhealthy, helpful, not helpful. Um, and so it absolutely shapes our perception of the world, what we believe is right and wrong. Uh, I would cope with different things, counter. So if you don't really understand what's in there and have a point where you can look and go, oh you, everybody else's brain doesn't work like mine and doesn't have the same stuff in there it's really hard to lead people because you enter into it thinking well, everybody thinks like me anyway.

John Ballinger:

Yeah, we deal with a lot of leaders that you're talking about earlier. Your team being generationally diverse, a lot of leaders will speak to the team as if it's how they want to hear and speak and things, instead of the team. They don't know their team, yeah. So therefore they're coming in and we did a little test where we had a leader come in and give instructions to the team and they left and everybody's like did you understand what he just said? And they're like oh, and it was. It was a pretty diverse team age, you know from a generational standpoint.

John Ballinger:

But he came, he comes in, I call him grenade throwers. He throws this grenade and 50% of the people have no, they're just kind of paralyzed, they're shocked by the grenade. 25 percent are trying to figure out because, well, that's the way he is, so let me figure it out. And the other 25 or thing I think I know what he says, I'm just gonna go do something, so I don't do anything. You know, do nothing, but you know, talking to them, they just really said I don't know what he says and I don't even know what to do, so they, they'd send them, just don't do anything.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, yeah, it's hard to learn that everybody doesn't see it the way you do.

John Ballinger:

That's one of the most difficult things, and even in a marriage it's hard to delineate that Because the husband, the male and the female brain are totally different.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, One of the things I often tell I get. A lot of times wives will call me and be like well, I think we want to see you, because he'll listen to you. Don't worry, I speak male, so I can translate.

John Ballinger:

So we're going to take a quick break and come back, and then we're going to be continuing our discussion with Dr Tyler Rogers.

Douglas Ford:

We'll be back. Hello, First Legion listeners, Douglas Ford here. I want to take just a few seconds during this break to say thank you for spending a few moments with us as we discuss the challenges and opportunities of being a leader. We hope that in every episode you find some bit of information that will help you on your own personal leadership journey. In order to reach more people and to improve our positioning on all the podcasting and social media platforms, it's important that you subscribe to our podcast on your favorite podcasting platform, like Apple, Spotify or any other platform where you listen to First Lead you. We would really appreciate you clicking on the subscribe button to help us reach more people and expand the message of First Lead you, and please take time to visit the First Lead you website. That's the number one S-T, the word lead and the letter U dot com. Firstlead ucom. First lead ucom. Number one st the word lead and the letter ucom. I hope you have a great day as you continue to learn to first lead. Welcome back to First Lead U.

Douglas Ford:

Today we are here with Dr Tyler Rogers and we appreciate him being here. He is sharing with us some of the things that he's seen in his practice about people coming in being a little anxious. As a society, we're definitely very anxious how some of those challenges can impact you as you become a leader. We want to dig a little bit more into that now. Dr Rogers, Again, we appreciate you being here, but as we think about leaders and we think about challenges that we all bring to the table as leaders, uh, how can some of those early and because we talk about this a lot you know what's your earliest childhood memory? How old were you? What was that like? How can some of those early challenges impact you as a leader and what can we start doing to maybe overcome some of those, move past those challenges?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

yeah. So, um, I'll go, I'll do a little bit of sociology here just to understand where we are as a family, because I know y'all did generational talk last week, I guess. So, um, if you think about the family in american society, we were an agrarian society until probably the early 1900s, which meant there was a implied structure in the home, not that every home was perfect, but it was a have to. It has to be this way. There's no decision. As we moved after that into a more we would call the psychological family that you leave it to beaver family. Dad goes to work and does this and mom just kind of exists to make everybody happy.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

What started to happen there is we just didn't know what to do with kids anymore. They don't need to plant the field Like, what are you doing with this child? And that's where we started to see the shift to putting more investment in kids, which kids are a terrible investment. Don't have kids to make money, you're going to lose money now. And then, as you moved into the, out of that came, you know, the 60s, 70s in our country we moved away from the psychological. Leave it to be your family.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

To, I would say, the pluralistic family. The family is, whatever you make it, whoever you decide is in it, and we're seeing that, you know, continue to develop in our country to point out where you see more and more people just cutting off their family because their family is just like a resource, it's just like a you're here to provide something for me until I get to a certain point and then I don't have a personal relationship with you anymore, so bye. So I think that's where you're getting so much more kind of disorganized families where people are adapting to figure out how am I going to survive through this? Whether that means I'm the leader as a child. You have a lot of parentified children who are like well, I'm down, aren't making this, somebody's got to like something around here that lead makes leaders who overinvest, who don't know how to take care of themselves, work themselves to death.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

I think it all falls on their shoulders. Don't know how to receive help, like let somebody help them, right? Um, I think it is making people a lot more anxious because they're just looking for structure, like tell me what, how we're supposed to do this, and we.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

It's not that you have to have a certain structure, but you need structure in your life and you don't need a structure, especially as a young person, that revolves around where you're being told everything matters more everybody else, um. So I think that's just making of of what. I think also, just the way our, our kids go to the internet. Now, as a leader like I need information, as google tell me to do, and google can tell you to do something, but that doesn't always build self-confidence. Uh, the action of like I can watch a guy on youtube do something and I can copy that. But there's still that relational void of like who's actually doing this with me to help me be like no, you, you're doing that correctly. No one. There's no feedbacking, which then makes people feel like, well, you know it works, so I guess I'm doing that right.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

A copy I listened to a podcast or saw something on google. Youtube did got ai chat. Gpt gave me an answer. An influencer, yeah, told me how to do something, so I guess I'm good. But then there's that kind of internal sense of but is it really good, I really doing that right? I don't know. And there's a sense of I don't know.

John Ballinger:

It sounds like that. What what we talk about is the person like that that goes into a leadership position. Is that imposter leader because they really don't know how to lead. They've been using other resources, but the confidence to actually make the decisions and truly lead people isn't there. It's not inside of them.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, yeah, and I I used to think about it like this, where I would go in different places that I've worked in my life and I like what. I have such issues with the leadership, Like why is that?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

That's like the form of down was like do I want to be in like a survival situation with this person and my answer was like nope, like that would tell me a lot. Is you feel that imposter leader like I'm? I know you're the boss, but I'm I can don't know what you're really doing? Like, yeah, and it's frustrating, hard to work with, and I think people see that modeled in their home. I see dads who are like and moms who are like I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. To be a leader, to be a decision maker, forge paths.

John Ballinger:

We were talking this morning about the age that normally speaking we can talk about families 1800s, 1900s, mid-1900s. The responsibility level of a child has changed so dramatically that what a child did at three years old in the 1800s and what a child does today at three, at seven, at 10, it's a day at three, at seven, at 10,. You know, and we're associated with a youth camp up in Dade, tennessee, and seeing the drastic change of responsibility to where there's 20-year-olds come up there as counselors, are afraid to stay away from home overnight yeah, overnight.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, and that goes back to me, to what I see is affecting mental health so much in America is lack of self-confidence. You just aren't able to, aren't given tasks and learn like I can do this. My kids all fold their own laundry. They're six, eight and ten Do they really, that sounds like a great plan.

Douglas Ford:

I'm going to make them fold their laundry on laundry. They're six, eight and ten and they do they really. Yeah, that sounds like a great plan. We're gonna make some folder laundry.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

She says she works too. She's like I'm not doing this every day and I'm like more power to you, babe, let's do it. Um, but you know, we just see that as self-confidence building. Like you just need to know how to do something, know that you know how to do it and that it it helps you get through life it was a resistance when she started saying there's resistance.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Every week, every week, eye rolling, I gotta go fold my clothes, yeah, but you know it's like you do. You know I feel the same way. I feel the same way about my own clothes, you know oh, that's good.

John Ballinger:

Um, what approach do you take with your team as a leader to help them maximize their potential?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

you've got a team, I think it's six. You, yeah, basically to myself. Uh, we, we do a couple of retreats a year where we just take a day off and hey, let's look at ourselves and what we're doing here. Um, it's a different approach for what we do in terms of most counseling practices aren't set up for the team mindset, but I found that super valuable. I don't know if it's going to work, but I also tell my people all the time I don't know if it's going to work, but I'm not doing it any other way. I don't really want to work in a silo, I don't want to see clients and go home. It's too difficult to work. But we take them through working genius, we talk about our myers-briggs, we go through strong interest inventory and then we try to help.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Everybody say you know you as a therapist, as a counselor, what does it look like? Like where do you lead the best? Um, and it's also helping them develop their areas of expertise. Well, because I want you to, you want to be do grief work? I want you to feel like you know grief in and out, towards and backwards, so you can lead people effectively through it. Um, but when I used to teach counseling, I would raise. I asked students in the early stages like, raise your hand if you think of yourself as a leader, and like maybe half the room would yeah, we got a problem like you are in this job to lead people, to help them learn to lead themselves. Like that is what a therapist is giving you the space to through things so you can come to conclusions and start to rely, start to believe in yourself, start to understand yourself and make better decisions to lead yourself. There's a whole counseling theory, internal family systems, and that's the idea is becoming self-led.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

And so I look at my team now and say, look, if you don't feel confident that you can lead your clients, then we're in trouble. You gotta be a leader, however that looks like for you. If that means you want to work with couples, right, and that's a place where a lot of people misunderstand couples counseling. It's like that's you are the surrogate leader until this couple figures out how to have leadership. That's what you're doing in terms of they're coming in, they're all over the place and they need somebody to say this is how we're going to do things. For now you're doing In terms of they're coming in, they're all over the place and they need somebody to say this is how we're going to do things for now. You're not going to do them the way you always have.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

So I try to help my team understand themselves, understand that they are all leaders. Just some of them haven't connected to that place yet To say I am a leader and I have things to offer and I want to take. Like, I am a leader and I have things to offer and I want to take that place. Competency is a big one. I'm really hard on them. Like, if you're going to do something, I want you to feel like you know that subject forwards and backwards as well as you can. Right.

Douglas Ford:

Well, you've touched on a couple of things that hopefully we'll have time to get to. But you talked about that idea of working with other leaders and not necessarily want to be in a survival situation with you, and we see that a good bit. But what would you say to someone that maybe is in that situation Like they're not in a situation where they have really strong leaders and they're struggling with that and they're trying to kind of figure out like what's the next best thing for me to do? How would you, what would you say to somebody that's going through that and looking for answers Like how do I lead myself better if I'm not getting good leadership?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, so I deal with this a lot because I have a lot of men who come to see me and they deal with this a lot. Uh, because I have a lot of of men who come to see me and they deal with this a lot in the workplace, and one of the first things I'll say to them is you need to leave. If you're gonna leave, let's leave. Well, and let's talk about what that means. And so first we try to identify what is the actual problem. For example, if someone's criticizing you a lot or something that uh, like a lack of result or something, and what. What I heard here that you saying to me is you don't know how we measure results. Like you, your leader has never said this is you doing a good job? But then they sit you down and say you're doing a bad job. First thing you should ask them is go back to them and say can you please? I hear I get it, I'm not doing good here, but can you tell me what doing good is? And I'm saying I don't know how they're going to answer you, but how they answer you is going to tell you a lot. And so a lot of times, people get caught up in this stuff about. Well, I don't know if that's going to work and I'm like I don't know if it's going to work either, but here's what it's going to tell you. It's going to tell you a lot about this organization, the leadership, their willingness to change their understanding of issues. So they're either going to tell you what it means to be okay thank you for clarifying that for me, and you're going to be okay there or they're not, and that's going to tell you. Okay, it's time for me to leave, but I understand why and I could communicate that well. And so now I'm going to lead myself to a different role, where that's probably a question I want to figure out.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

An interview of like hey, you know, how do you guys measure success around here? How is that talked about? Are there performance evaluations? Who does them? How often I want to pull other, you know, go find the janitor or something, but hey, they evaluate you around. Is that true? You want to sniff that out. And that's learning how to lead yourself to a better situation, not doing what a lot of people do do, which is just panic and go land themselves in another bad situation because they just feel anxious. Where they are. They can't stand leadership and they grass just looks greener. So I try to help people that I see learn how to lead themselves out of that situation in a helpful way and actually effective. That's awesome.

John Ballinger:

Over the last five years, have you seen a shift in mental health?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

in America. Oh yeah, I mean, I think we're continuously becoming more anxious. I'm sure y'all heard the book the Anxious Generation, great read. Yeah, I think parents are more anxious. Uh, you know, I talk about the societal changes. You know, if you went back 150 years and you asked someone like how do you parent, they would look at you like what, what is parenting? What do you mean? Like this don't use that as a verb like it was just a thing that you are or not. So I think there is a huge anxiety of I got to be doing this right and I read 16 books on how to be a parent and they're all confusing me, and now I'm more confused than I ever was about what good parent was a bad parent.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

So I see that big shift where we're just way more affected by stuff than we need to be, and part of those are connected things that probably you know we would be good to either learn how to put in a box or just not connect ourselves to them, just don't need to know yeah, I was thinking.

John Ballinger:

I don't know if this happened to you, but I remember riding in the laying in the back dash of a car, the weight of a trip, when I was a young child, probably well, three, five, whatever it was, but I remember laying in the back last of that vehicle thing. Man, this is cool, driving down the road and all that stuff. And I was talking is this a station wagon with wood panel siding? Could be, could be, could be. But then I then I was talking to a grandparent the other day who has an app on her phone that her daughter wants her to use to log everything that the child does in that app what they ate, how much they ate, how they eat all that stuff, and it's an actual app that does all that. I'm like good gracious, right in the back of a know no seat belt, no, anything, you know and I'm all right.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

And you're that anxious like you're having to plug in every single thing that that child does yeah, and all it takes is one story hearing how somebody in massachusetts or somewhere died from their child grandchild died from something you know grandparent neglect or something to make us all think, gosh, we got to do something about that. Yeah, and the reality is like, well, no, you don't. I mean you have to step back and evaluate, but is that actually happening in my life? Like, is that actually? But am I worried about my parent doing something to my child?

John Ballinger:

Yeah, what advice would you give to America's working public to help them move forward with better mental health? Cause we are anxious, so how can we become less anxious?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, unplugged. Uh, get off your phones down, have time. Have a little spot in your house that's not in your bedroom. Put your phone there at the end of the day and don't pick it back Self-included guilty of that. Other things, I mean. I think a lot of people need to be going to counseling, like you go to the gym or to eat. Well, like you were saying the earlier, there's a distinguishing factor between mental illness and mental health. We're such a reactionary culture. You know we'll go to the doctor and they're like well, you're gonna need four stents now on a heart, heart bypass, instead of like maybe 20 years ago. We need need to be in the gym a little bit, eating a little bit better, you know, take care of our mental health, or going to therapy or connecting with actual people and not living online in a world that just….

John Ballinger:

Yeah, connecting with people. That's so important. You know, having people around you. We've talked in the past podcast that people would spend 50% of the time on their mental health as they did in the gym on their physical health. How much better society would be.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, Absolutely. I think if we all had that awareness what our issues are, where we come from, and started to take that responsibility step, I got to figure out a lot better place.

John Ballinger:

sometimes A lot of people don't want to figure out them.

Douglas Ford:

Yeah, exactly, I'm not like what they say sometimes.

John Ballinger:

Well I mean, but that's reality, you know, everybody else sees.

Douglas Ford:

That's true, we talked about that. So, dr Rogers, we appreciate you being here If you could tell us how can people get in touch with you if they're interested and find out more about what you're doing at Scout Counseling.

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

Yeah, we have a website, scoutcounselingcom. You can go in there and read about all the services we offer to professionals, even just consultation, to therapy for couples, individuals, trauma, a mental health issue like that. We also have flight therapists for children. You can go there, scoutcounselingcom, and check out our website and just reach out to anybody on our team if they seem interesting to you it helps.

Douglas Ford:

So, since we are a national and sometimes international podcast, do you guys do remote counseling?

Dr. Tyler Rogers:

We don't, we like to do. We think that in-person element makes a big difference, but we're also really happy to try to help people find sources in their area. So try to serve customers even if they're not paying us.

Douglas Ford:

That's awesome. Thanks for being here.

John Ballinger:

Yeah, we really appreciate it, Doc. Really do Remember in order to lead your teams well, you must learn to first lead. Thanks everyone, we'll be you next time.

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John Ballinger

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Douglas Ford

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